friend

"You didn't choose me.  Remember, I chose you..." -Jesus Christ (John 15.16)

Depression had its claws and fangs in them for a long time.  The drudgery of every day life hung over them like smoke from canon fire in a bloody valley.  Some had been trying to do the right thing, and ended up running away for decades of their lives.  Some were so oblivious to their need, they did not even take the time to process the supernatural phenomena they had witnessed with their own eyes.  Some were just numb, tired of feeling pain, tired of looking toward the future and seeing only darkness, tired of living with no hope.  Some had just been beaten down, and down, and down again, until the purpose within them departed leaving only a hollow shell, a walking dead man, a ghost.

One way we humans value each other is on the basis of what another can do for us.  It is interminable, inevitable, irreconcilable, that at our very core, if another cannot make us feel that feeling, give us what we think we need, we place them in the 'recycle bin' on our hard drives and search elsewhere.  Nowadays with all the home-based companies out there, those deep needs in people are used for financial gain, making some people slaves to using people, and to being used.  I have many acquaintances, people I can see at the market place, or on facebook, and strike up a conversation with. That feels good, too, because we like to be recognized at our core level, to know that someone "knows" us and cares enough to say hello.  We need stuff from each other, emotional support, opinion, consolation, financial help; that's all fine, its ok.  But deeper than just strokes, than being invited to a barbecue or to church, we all have a desperate need for true friendship.

You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.  And, I will add this:  your friends can choose you.  That is the uniqueness of this kind of relationship:  a person you want to be around and who wants to be around you.  They see some value in you beyond what you can do for them, and even with all your flaws and failures they see something shiny enough in you that they would want you to rub off on them.  Human relationship at this level can only properly be described by Proverbs 17.17, "A friend loveth at all times..."  And it is extremely rare.

A true friend consistently observes the complete picture of you, all the complexities and simplicities, all the quirks, the inconsistencies, the "apples of gold" in your character.  They see it all and still treasure the enigma you are.  We tolerate things in and from our most treasured of friends we would not tolerate in other relationships.  We allow for opinions that do not align with our own, and still look out for their best interest.  We listen to their grievances patiently, graciously holding our own words long enough to allow them to see the reflections from their words. "Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart (Proverbs 27.9)."  We rejoice with each other in glad times, supporting and encouraging each other through all of life's experiences.  We harbor each others' secrets, both sinister and noble.  A friend's correction is more effective than anyone's.  Solomon said it like this:  "Faithful are the wounds of a friend... (Prov. 27.6)."  In the current vernacular, friends like this are just "in to each other" and treat each other as carefully as a fine piece of jewelry or our mother's finest china.  Every part of this kind of relationship is blanketed, warmly and softly, by love- "A friend loveth at all times...".


"...And there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18.4)"  That's the kind of friend we all need, and we all need to be.  As much as I fail in this endeavor, I can always point my friend to the One who never fails, Who is always truthful,  Who already knows the deepest, ugliest secrets of our lives, Who is moved with the feelings of the adversities we bear through.  And He values us in the perfect definition of the word, because He made us. This "Friend of Sinners" breaks the grip of depression, anoints our dry, haunted lives with the oil of purpose and reason, where it had been lost.  He gently nudges us out of our self-delusion, and leads us back to the right path.  To those who just seem to always do what's wrong, He is our right, our righteousness.  And to those who are fugitives from people or past, He is a safe haven.  But, He is so much more than that... He is the Savior, Who redeems all the rot of the human condition, sin, making all the terrible, shattering, hideous, shameful, frustrating, and embarrassing things in our lives, miraculously, work for the good of those who are His friends.

He is the friend of Sinners.  He does not have to love us or even care at all.  But He chooses to.  He chooses us.  That is extremely unique.  It's just plain special.

"You didn't choose me.  Remember, I chose you..." -Jesus Christ (John 15.16)