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We were all raised up in church and taught to love the Lord Jesus. The older we all got we were exposed to the philosophies of secular humanism, the religion of the new world order, taught us mainly in the public schools. Some of us abandoned our up-bringing and either completely embraced this new religion, or dabbled in other belief systems, or just resigned to hedonism. It was easy to do growing up, with so much of this same secular philosophy governing church politics and practices, obscurring our understanding of the Truth.

But what was most damaging was observing those people we held in esteem acting in direct contrast to those Christian ideals they so adamantly proclaimed, with no apologies or explanations offered. Kids can handle an authority figure screwing up. But kids totally write them off if they screw up and act like it didn't happen. Some of the parents, who demanded strict adherence to "holiness," lacked the ability to exemplify basic Christian disciplines to their own children or spouse, though they seemed to be able to muster enough forgiveness, grace, generosity, and gentle guidance for others. Others of well means, preached generosity, but were anything except generous.

What ever the cause, a good number of my cousins have abandoned or somehow allowed their faith to become twisted. As middle-aged adults, many of us flounder in the caring of that most important unseen eternal part of ourselves-the spirit. I mourn for them, and me, as I have seen my own trust in spiritual leadership diminish because of thoughtlessness, harsh treatment, or just plain ignorance. Shipwrecked is the word the Apostle Paul used to describe ruined faith in God. And those who resemble this description are certainly not without blame. They chose to pull away from God rather than take the time to study for themselves and spend time in His Presence. The splinters of their wholeness lay drying on rocky shores where their souls ran aground. Some only need minor repair. some, whose timbers were greatly damaged because of poor choices, despair of hope at all.

I see our fragmented lives, the terrible breaking some have un-endured. I see my own folly laughing back at me in quiet moments. Yet, I hope for us all. Though, since I settled the issue of faith in God I have not doubted the power, love, or holiness of Elohim, I have slidden backward in my daily practice and worship of Him, the only true God. And I have longed to regain the ground I have given up to my bitterness, to live the Truth I have discovered, not the truth someone told me.

So I pick myself up once again, and embark again, toward the perfection of me by Christ's cross, to embrace it once again for all time with my life. I want to invite them to come along, my wonderful, successful, brilliant cousins, friends, and other family not of blood. I want us all to get back to Life, back to the truest realities. I pray for them continually. I talk with them. I try to take every opportunity to help them filter their adulterated perceptions of the Good News of Christ Jesus. If I can somehow stretch myself out, one hand on the cross, the other reaching them, pulling them back to eternal safety, back to their places in the Creator's Kingdom, back to His idea of them, then I can link them to the deepest desire they may have never understood.

Oh, my God, how You love us. How You have wept for us. Not like the dry, jerky, self-righteous sobs-for-effect we remember in some church services, with others looking down their holy noses at us. Jesus, You bled all of your blood out for us. Help me to know how to relinquish myself for them, for You, to link them to You again. I will mourn and weep for them. I will sing of Your mercy and kindness that is new with every dawn. I will call out to You to send real Christians into their lives to God-love them, the way You loved those hurt and wounded people in Israel so long ago. Strengthen me, O God, for Your return is so very close at hand.

"All who are thirsty, all who are weak
Come to the Fountain, dip your heart in the streams of Life
Let the pain and the sorrow be washed away
In the streams of His mercy as deep cries out to deep
Come, Lord Jesus, come... "